Divorce is one of the most stressful events in life. Even when partners mutually agree to part ways, there are many emotional and practical things to consider. For example, both partners have to deal with living arrangements, child custody, and significant lifestyle changes. If you are struggling to heal after a divorce, here are a few tips to help you move on.
Forgive Your Partner and Yourself
It may be difficult to think about forgiveness, especially if the relationship involves abuse or a break of trust. But by refusing to forgive, you are hurting yourself more than the other person. Hate begets hate unless you take personal responsibility to break this chain and show forgiveness. But forgiveness does not mean a pardon. Instead, it involves acknowledging the wrong and wrapping it in compassion.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Being positive at all costs can be toxic. Rather than running away from unpleasant emotions by staying busy or indulging in substance abuse, acknowledge the grief and allow yourself to heal. Divorce is a loss, and it is important to face the emotions that go along with it.
Divorce the House
It is common for people to stay in the family home, especially if you are the partner with the custody of the children. However, the good and bad memories in the house can be difficult for your well-being.
Besides, people tend to underestimate the actual cost of homeownership. If you’re keeping the house to yourself, obtain a third-party inspection and appraisal to learn about latent defects that could affect its value. This home review should determine the remaining life of major appliances and uncover unknown liens and second mortgages. Usually, people find that it’s far better to sell the house and start fresh with such a detailed report.
Reinvent Your Life
Remember, you had an individual identity before marriage. Over the years, you may have lost your identity to fit into your role as a husband, wife, mother, father, breadwinner, or homemaker. Now is the time to arrange your life to your liking and undergo a process of self-discovery.
Cut Off Communications Until You’ve Healed
It’s best to cut off communications temporarily until you’ve healed and are ready to let go of the past. You can attempt to be friendly, but not until you’ve let go of the bitterness. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself drawn into lengthy and unfruitful arguments about the marriage. If children are involved, make sure the conversations only revolve around them and remain civil.